It’s not like racing or even a slow jog.
My mind at this time of the morning
Is more deliberate and spaced apart like
the first snowfall when it starts with silence,
and moves to accumulation,
and eventually buries everything in sleep.
Yes, my mind moves like that at 3:35am.
And it’s not worry that keeps me awake.
It’s more the disparate thoughts that try
to connect their web to the other unattached
Like how my brash, (and sometimes,
disarming), openness to share personal
trials and stories with groups of complete
strangers can make listeners uneasy;
yet, throughout my life,
my closest friends and lovers
have this private wall of China
and that concealed Teflon locked box
of hidden stories and thoughts.
And I am the opposite expression of these
friends and lovers.
And yet, I am drawn to them.
Why is this? How is this?
It seems necessary for our existence,
as important as air. Yet, most religious
guides fail to have even one passage
of ticklish levity to help us get through this life.
And there’s nothing funny about that.
Why don’t they? How is that possible?
And so it goes…
These thoughts fall, softly,
like the first snow, like deliberate breath,
when 3:35am has passed,
and I wish to be buried,
with eyes closed,
into a dream.